Communicate This! A Kinder, Fiercer Court

I was warming up with my partner M, playing against N and S.  I was looking forward to catching up with N, since it had been a while since we’ve seen each other.  During our warm-up, M said “I’m afraid to play against N.”  This gave me pause.

I have always had warm feelings towards N.  When I attended my first clinic at Olde Providence, N was there.  I was standing in the middle of the baseline, when the Pro said that for the next drill we should “hit it down the line.”  I felt confused. Which line was he talking about?  There were several on the court.  N was standing behind me, so I turned around and asked her which line the Pro was referring to.  She didn’t know either – which made me feel better. United in our ignorance, we asked for clarification.

I think N’s originally from Russia.  I LOVE talking with people from other countries – partly because they often have such different and interesting experiences and viewpoints; partly because of the lilting accents.  You could cuss me out in French and I’d swoon.  I also enjoy the fact that when people are speaking in a language that’s not their Mother-tongue, they don’t waste time with fripperies.  They tend to say what they mean, which is refreshing.

N and I attended several clinics together that year.  The Pros used a lot of expressions we weren’t familiar with.  We’d check with each other first to clarify.  If one of us knew what the Pro meant, we’d share that with the other.  If neither of us knew, we’d ‘fess up and ask for help.  It felt like we were giggling co-conspirators on a quest to translate Tennis Talk to Kitchen English.

So, imagine my surprise when M expressed fear of N.  I looked at N through M’s eyes, and suddenly I became nervous too.  I’m 5’2”, so everybody seems tall to me.  However, N is really tall.  She looks about 6 feet tall, so it follows that she has a wide arm-span.  If she stood in the center of the court, and spread her arms while holding a racket in each hand NOTHING would get past her.

N also has legs that stretch for miles – and she uses them!  In the rare instance that a ball gets by her, she lopes across the courts like a gazelle.  In light of M’s comments, I became slightly cowed by the straight-talking, imported Russian Glamazon and started hitting goofy shots.  Did I really think I could lob someone who could see into the clouds?!

I believe Henry Ford said “Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t–you’re right.”  In “32 Flavors,” the great Ani DiFranco sang “someday you’re going to get hungry and eat most of the words you just said.”

I’ve come to believe that you are who you surround yourself with.  For the first game or so, I was playing as if I had my partner’s fear of Natasha.  I let her comment override the years of fun and kindness I’d experienced with N, which was silly.  So, I had to change my focus and just think about N in a different way.  I still tried to hit some fierce shots – as I would with anybody.  However, letting go of somebody else’s notions made all the difference and I resumed enjoying the match.  No wonder they say tennis is mostly a mental sport!

Unleashing My Inner Serena: 31 Days of Tennis

Yesterday, marked the start of my new 31-day adventure:  31 days of tennis!

My wonderful husband taught me to play tennis about 10 years ago.  I advanced fairly quickly from 2.0 to 2.5 to 3.0.  Then I plateaued.  I’ve been playing the same game fairly consistently for more years than I’d care to admit.

This year, one of my New Year’s Resolutions is to become a 3.5 tennis player – the same level as Hubby.  It would be nice to give him a good game.  Let’s be honest: I would not be sad to win a tennis match with him.  In fact, I think I’d REALLY enjoy that.  With OTHER folks, I try to be a gracious winner.  With Hubby, I would truly enjoy having my game match my level of Trash Talking, which is S-U-P-E-R-I-O-R!

The way a person plays tennis can be very revealing about his/her character.  We were dating when now-Hubby first started teaching me the game.  I learned he was a really good instructor – with excellent communication skills and an abundance of patience.  I ran him all over the courts – unintentionally.  I simply didn’t know how to aim or place my shots.  Our games ended up being a great workout- for him.

Hubby would gallantly return shots that would have been waaaaay out to keep the game going and to let me feel like I was building up momentum.  Hubby also learned that I’m a Trash-Talker.  He tried explaining that this is a gentleman’s sport, and that there’s no Trash Talking in Tennis.  I would have none of it.  I’m from Detroit after all, where cussin’ and Talking Smack are considered art forms.  My concession was not to swear on the courts, but Talking Trash was sacred.  Tennis is mostly a mental game, and Trash Talking is how I could get into his head and shake his rhythm.

I will never forget the day I first won a game against him.  You would have thought I had won a Grand Slam.  I did the Cabbage Patch – a most obnoxious Happy Dance – while loudly proclaiming my own greatness.  The people on the courts around us smiled bemusedly.  Then Hubby quickly won the next few games, the entire set and the match.  That’s when I realized how much he’d been holding back when we played.  He’s a 3.5 player with a 4.0 serve.

I resigned from Corporate America a while ago, and am now running my own business.  One of the great blessings of this is I now have the ability to set my own schedule, and I can play tennis during the day.  Last year, I joined the Interclub league for the first time, and really enjoyed myself.  We played on Thursdays and our team had clinics on Wednesdays.  We learned specific strategies, skills and drills in the clinics and then could immediately apply our learnings in Thursday’s matches.  Suddenly, I “got game.”

Mid-season, I played a match with Hubby.  He hadn’t played in several months, and I was really hoping I could beat him.  I didn’t – but I realized he wasn’t holding back any more.  While I took a couple of games from him, I made him earn his overall victory.

As much as I like to Talk Smack with Hubby, the truth is, I’d simply like to give him a competitive match.  He’s spent a decade playing non-competitively with me – which can’t be too much fun for him.  So, this Spring Season I’m going for it!

I believe in Immersion, so I’ve signed up for 4 tennis leagues and intend to play every day for the next 31 days.  My goal is for the game on day 31 to be with Hubby – and for me to win the entire match.  I haven’t yet determined whether or not I’ll be an obnoxious winner or not.  Only time will tell.